Tattoos and Roses

Holidays in general are always emotional for my family, but this year is already proving to be a bit more stressful.  Of course certain days are worse than others.  Mother's day was one of the more emotional ones so far.  Between preparing for the worst with my Aunt Donna, Alisha's baby coming seven weeks early, and what ever the hell is going on between my parents, it's like I am on an emotional rollercoaster. My aunt Donna hasn't' been in good health for some time.  She had breast cancer and kicked it's butt, but recently here health has started to decline rapidly.  She became sick last a couple of months ago, has been in out of the hospital multiple times, had fluid drained from her lungs, and now is fighting a downhill battle of lung caner.  She was put into the Hospice home around two weeks ago.  They are predicting that there is only about two months left.  It is hard to watch a woman that was once so lively start to fade away....

An interesting morning at work... There were 40 kindergarten students inside the bank for a field trip.  Yes you heard correctly, FORTY, five to six year old children!  This did one thing for me, solidified the fact that I do not want children.  I seriously almost had a panic attack when I saw all of them.  Some women are wired for having kids, I am not one of those women. Speaking of women having children, why is it that society expects us to get married and have children?  My husband and I have made the decision to not have any.  Over the years I have been told that I am selfish or I will change my mind when I get older.  I honestly do not see it a selfish act that I do not want to bring a child into this messed up world.  Or that I just don't have the "mommy gene" that people talk about.  The older I get the less I want them.  Our belief is that not everyone is made to be a mother or father, we are those people, at lea...

Well I haven't done as well with this keeping up with my blogging like I had promised... Yeah I'm bad for that. So, here's the latest.  The move with the bank was a good one!  I have been very happy with the decision to move branches.  The people I work with are upbeat, dislike drama (a major plus), and just overall nice to work with.  We end up laughing almost daily, most likely because of something I did or said, but it's laughing!  That is what matters most right?! Okay, now to the nitty gritty portion of the blog the whole personal thoughts and life happenings thing.  Gary and I are going back "home"!!  Can't tell I'm excited at I know.  :)  We have this unexplainable pull to the city.  Maybe it is just that it is completely different from what we are used to, but it has felt more like home than Surry County ever has.  So before this trip I (and Gary I do believe) have been daydreaming about our opti...

Well there has been a couple of changes that have occurred since the last posting! First off I can't tell you how amazed at how quickly this year has flew by!  It is hard to believe that next week is Thanksgiving!!  Geez Louise! Time slow down!  That leads me to the first change... I have accepted to move branches within the bank.  At the end of this month I will be packing up my station and moving to the other side of the county.  Wow, that sounds crazy!  I have worked at the same branches for eight years (since I began at the bank), with pretty much the same crew.  That is getting ready to change come the next week.  Today, the Elkin crew had lunch as a group for the first time and got to see the branch almost complete.  It was an awesome experience!  I will be honest and say that I have been nervous about this change, but also excited at the same time (along with a few other emotions thrown into the mix).  I can truly say tha...

So last time I was speaking of a house that I couldn't get off my mind.  Well here is the latest... Gary and I went and looked at the house.  Was it adorable?  Yes.  Was it all that I thought it would be?  No.  Since the viewing of the Taylor St home we have looked at several.  We even made an offer on one that would have been perfect.  I guess it wasn't meant for us, because the negotiations didn't go in our favor. I never realized that buying a house would be such an emotional roller coaster.  I keep thinking of how wonderful it is going to be having our family an friends over for holidays or just to have them over in general.  How we are going to have a place that is "ours".  Our friends kids playing in the back yard, having bonfires and cookouts. Then there is this dark cloud that looms over my head that makes me hesitant about buying.  By buying a home we are planting roots in a certain place.  This means that...

It has been entirely too long since my last post and I apologize to myself for that.  This is a release that is needed and very welcome. As of late I have been having these overwhelming feelings of the need to have a place that is "ours". My husband stumbled upon a house that is for sell in the city limits of Mt. Airy that we could afford. This house is perfect according to the pictures.  There is a beautiful wrap around porch on the front, it is white with black shutters, three bedroom, one bath, screened in back porch, a laundry room and fairly large kitchen.  I have taken a very strong liking and emotional tie to this house, even though I have yet to step foot in it. I have always dreamed of owning a home with a wrap around porch, sort of farm house/cottage style, maybe this is the reasoning behind this sudden, crazy attachment to this house.  Dreams of being able to have our families over for the holidays, having friends over for cookouts,and being able to wa...

So Gary and I have traveled to Washington DC once again and this time coming back was different.  Something has changed in us.  Coming back was much harder than it was the past couple of times. I know that I have returned with a heavy heart and a dimmed light.  Being in a place where you feel like you belong is all that everyone wants.  I have lived in this area my entire life, but for some reason have never felt like I have truly belonged. My dreams are big.  My ideas are out of the "norm".  My beliefs are not "traditional".  I understand that everyone is wired differently, however I feel a constant pressure here to be something that I am not.  I cannot speak for Gary, but it is my belief that he feels the same way. Of courses I have family and friends that I will miss terribly, but this is something that needs to be done.  I need to spread my wings and fly.  I want to fly! I crave an environment with creativ...